HOW MY LOVE STORY ENDED BEFORE IT HAD EVEN STARTED ( PART 2 )

# THE 5th ENCOUNTER

When I opened my eyes, I found myself lying on the hospital bed. I could see few people on white aprons. My head was aching and I could not feel my own body. I saw a saline bag whose pipe was hooked to my left arm. It felt like I had been paralyzed. I slowly tried to move so that I could sit. Then I heard a voice say, “Hey, careful.” As my eyes followed the voice, I saw him, the guy at the party a year back. He helped me sit and put a pillow behind me for support and he said, “Your pressure had dropped and you fainted. The doctor said that you’re weak and need rest.” Maybe I was weak. I couldn’t speak so I just kept quiet. He brought me some food and a juice. I had them all. Maybe I was hungry enough, I finished it all. After a while, I felt normal.

The doctor came and asked, “How are you feeling?” I said, “Much better.”

“You fainted because of weakness and your pressure was low. As you are feeling better, I’ll prepare your discharge papers.” The doctor said. Before I could say anything, the guy replied, “Sure. Make the papers ready.”

After the discharge papers were ready, the guy paid the bills. I was annoyed. I said, “Do you think I don’t have enough money? I don’t need anyone’s favour. I put the money he paid in his hand. “Oh...I’m sorry...Maybe I am doing too much social service these days” he said. I know I offended him, but paying my bills that was not right.

I went to the washroom. As I was washing my face, I saw the guy in the mirror, I turned around and said, “Are you sick? Why are you following me? And can’t you read the instructions outside? It’s a ladies washroom.” I’m not sure why I was more crankier than usual today.

He replied, “It’s not me who is sick, It's you. If you faint in the bathroom again, then someone should be here to hold you. So, I followed you here.”

“Do you think you are some kind of superhero to help everyone in need...anywhere and anytime? The doctor said that I will be fine. Thank you for bringing me to hospital. That was enough help. You can leave.” I said rudely.

“It wasn’t me who brought you to the hospital. I was there for a check up when I saw you lying on the bed.” He replied.

“What check up? What happened to you? Are you sick? You look perfectly fine.” I said.

He hesitated and replied, “Of course. I’m perfectly fine. I was here just for a regular check up. The nurses here are very pretty and beautiful. I love getting nursed by them. So, I visit this hospital often in the name of a check up.” He then blinked his eyes.

“I see. Ok, then, I’m already late for home and I guess I took much of your time. Thank you for everything. I’m leaving.” I said and left.

Behind the hospital, there was a place, quiet and pleasing. I knew the place as it was near my house and I’ve walked there quite often. As there were only a few apartments for hospital staffs, there would be no-one there at this time of day. As the hospital was at a height, this end of the hospital had a magnificent view. Just a little down was a way to the main road. There were some tall hills at the front. Standing there, I could see the busy life of the city. Mild wind blew there at a regular interval which blew my hair. It was always amazing to be here. Everything was just quiet and calm, just the way I wanted.

“Oh! So, you left me there to enjoy here all by yourself, huh?” A voice came from behind me and I already knew it was him.

“And why are you here to disturb me again?” I replied rudely.

“I was confused. Didn’t you recognize me? We had met before at the party, a year back?” He asked me with a confused face asking for a confirmation.

I answered, “Of course, I know it’s you.”

“Then why are you acting so weird, like we are strangers.” He questioned.

I sat down there on the ground. He sat beside me. “You helped me and I thanked you for that. What else do you want me to do now?” I asked.

“Although we have spent little time together and known each other very little, I thought we had become good friends at the party.” He looked at me and smiled. He continued, “That night you were so warm, friendly and charming and now you’ve turned so cold and rude.”

“I am not the one who I was a day before. How can you expect me to be the one that I was a year ago? It’s just a matter of time, people change all the time.” I replied.

There was a long silence.

I broke the silence. I asked, “You never tried to contact me after the party. I thought we had become good friends too. I tried to contact you but I didn’t find a way and the worst part is that I didn’t know your name and I still don’t.”

“You were all into me at that party, right? I had caught you many times getting blushed at the site of me.” He smiled and looked at me with his suspicious eyes. Maybe he was expecting that I would admit it. Then I just stoop up and said, “Live in your dreams. I can’t help with people’s imagination. Maybe one encounter is not just enough to know someone.” I didn’t even look at him, I knew what he was saying was true but it was long time back.

“Do you think that was the first time I saw you?” he questioned. I looked at him. He stood up and continued, “I think it was three years back, I saw a girl sitting on the stairs at the entrance gate of a temple. She was starring at the floor and tears were flowing down from her eyes like it would never stop. There was something in her eyes. I was curious what could it be? After two years, I saw the same girl at The British Council Library. She was reading a book. After a while, she left her desk. I noticed that she had left her notebook there. I went through the notebook. He showed me the photo of my pages he had taken on his phone.

“It hurts.

And it really hurts a lot.

It feels like my head will burst or maybe I will go insane. No I can't turn insane. But how do I control this impatiency, this desperacy. I finally went through that thing which I never ever wanted to be into. It was the only thing I had avoided as long as I can remember. But maybe history repeats.

But what do I do now?? I just don't know. I am going through so many things at once that I have become hopeless. Sometimes I ask God, “Why me? Why just me? There are millions and trillions of other people out there but why it’s just me? “I know it’s not worth asking God. It doesn't mean that I don't believe God but it’s just that things don't work out very well between me and him. He left me helpless in a  crucial stage of my life and I  feel betrayed.

I've shed lots of tears and yet they are flowing continuously. I wonder how much tear can flow from an eye. Don't they finish? Every night I sleep begging God, “Please, may I not have to see the sunlight tomorrow. Spare me from this life"

I wasn't this weak...I had gone through many ups and downs since my childhood and I used to be my own ideal, I was strong enough then to wake up every day with new aspiration about life. I used to think what's gone is gone and a new day is a new starting for a better tomorrow. But what happened? Did I change? I really must have changed a lot or maybe desperacy is killing the real me little by little.

People say, life always gives you a second chance but what if you do not want one. Today I stand alone in one of the most crucial stage of my life or maybe I am being too dramatic about life. Today, I've no option than stand at the bay of the sea and wait for what the waves will bring for me. I can neither jump into the sea nor swim nor can I explore its depth.”

I desperately wanted to ask her what is it that hurts so much?

Again, after few months, I teased a girl on the way. After a while, I realized it was the same girl. When I came to look for her, I saw her giving chocolates to some kids on the way. She was smiling, looking at those kids. There was something very beautiful about that smile. Then suddenly tears fell from her eyes. Smile and tears at the same time? It was a weird combination. I was confused and curious at the same time.

Again I saw the same girl at a party. That day I saw a happy girl, not the sad one that I had seen each time before. I really had a quality time with that happy girl. A beautiful girl with grace, modesty, beautiful eyes, beautiful smile, she has never got out of my mind since then.

Yet again, I always wanted to ask her, what is it that hurts so much? What is it that she has been hiding? What is the mystery that lies in those tears?” He glared into my eyes. It felt like he could read my eyes. I had to look away.

“I am leaving. Convey my greetings to aunty.” I said. I was about to leave when he said, “I cannot convey your greetings to her. She is no more. She left me alone. I’m an orphan now.” I was shocked, “What? How? I mean what happened? I’m really very sorry.”I said.

“Meet me tomorrow and I’ll explain you all.” He said.

“I’m not coming tomorrow. If you don’t want to say, that’s fine.” I replied and I walked away.

“I will be waiting for you.” He said.

I paused for a while but didn’t turn around. For some reason, I just decided to walk down the road instead of looking into the depth of his eyes and feeling his pain. As I was walking, I could hear him shout, “By the way, I forgot to tell you my name again. It’s Annupam.”